Official Article Suggestion Topic

[zourtney]

I see you made it back alive. Congrats!

I agree that a review style thing could be helpful. Of course, since no one seems to be giving us free stuff, we should perhaps dumb it down to "this is what we use and this is how well it works."

[zourtney]

Here's another stupid idea I wrote down a while ago:

Make an uncouth argument about the heterogeneous population and
destroying diversity.

Use some nonsense argument with "rap-core" as a prime example of how
mixing previously good things can become an utter failure.

[Nick]

Brilliant!

[zourtney]

Create a Google map (or something) that displays population density. Map density to how effective one spray of a skunk is.

ie: Stayton --> 1 spray affects 300 people per square mile
(note: Wikipedia says population density is 2,525.3/sq mi)

[zourtney]

In this world, overrun by automatic paper towel dispensers, there are a few fervent individuals who still have the gall to fight for freedom.

Be vigilant! Take back your freedoms!

[zourtney]

Arbocide! What happened to all of this poor, defenseless shrubbery?!
Make some sort of illogical correlation between the pruning of one's yard and the imminent destruction of the world's entire ecosystem.

[zourtney]

We've all seen this sign before:
Sidewalk Closed
Use Other Side

This is a logical fallacy!
Note: for major construction or any other time when said sign is applying to a large section of ground, please disregard the following conclusions as the 'given' portion of the equation is invalid.

Given:

• 10ft of sidewalk has been removed and gated off or is otherwise untraversable.

Facts:

• Road is approximately 25ft across (or more)
• The average human body is less than 24" wide at the shoulders
• The average human walking speed is 2.7mph
• There exist J-Walking laws.
• There exists no laws against walking in the gutter of the street (that I am aware of)

My recommendation

• Walk those 10ft in the gutter of the road when there is no traffic.

By my calculations, it will take about 6.818 seconds. Walking across the street, down, and then crossing back would take about 40.909 seconds. And, of course, getting hit by cars really hurts! So come on, how could one conclude that crossing the street is not more dangerous??

[zourtney]

What is up with rap artists constantly using their band name in their songs??

[zourtney]

Courtney ponders terrestrial luminescence:
Why do I prefer a brighter ground and a darker sky? Let's explore some common, naturally occuring phenomena.  
  - overcast skies -- excellent
  - lake mirroring the sky -- excellent
  - lucious green forest -- awesome
  - snow-covered fields -- nearly perfect
  - solar exclipse -- awesome!!
Now compare with:
  - sunny day -- boring
Let's just call it "perferrential terrestrial luminescence"

[zourtney]

Explain the sad truth that making something yourself isn't always the most....economical route.

Example:
Qwirkle...$25?! I could make that for HALF the price...[trot, trot, trot] Ok
  - 1 piece of 1"x4"x8' pine lumber
       $8
  - 1 bucket of black paint
       $10
  - 1 set of model paint (small bottles)
       $6
  - 1 sheet of thin balsa wood for reusable stensils
       $5
  - table saw
       $275
  - chop saw
       $175
  - sand paper (multiple grades)
       $5
....ok, maybe that wasn't cheaper! Drat!

[zourtney]

When your preterit rendering engine fails:

"Man, I just teared a hole in my jeans!"
"Uh, you mean tore."
"Oh yeah..."

[zourtney]

Fun things to do:
Feed a hamster food until they can't fit any more in their cheeks (~1 week's worth of food). While it may be a little mean, it's really funny seeing the creature double in size before your eyes!

[Nick]

Explain the sad truth that making something yourself isn't always the most....economical route.

Example:
Qwirkle...$25?! I could make that for HALF the price...[trot, trot, trot] Ok
  - 1 piece of 1"x4"x8' pine lumber
       $8
  - 1 bucket of black paint
       $10
  - 1 set of model paint (small bottles)
       $6
  - 1 sheet of thin balsa wood for reusable stensils
       $5
  - table saw
       $275
  - chop saw
       $175
  - sand paper (multiple grades)
       $5
....ok, maybe that wasn't cheaper! Drat!

There is a point that it no longer becomes about saving money but instead about regaining the lost art of self sufficiency. We make so very little of the things we use today, its only natural that we feel the need to try doing it ones self every now and then.

[zourtney]

So true (about wanting to make stuff as a testament to your ability to be self-sufficient)

Dissimilar things which get mixed up in my head

• Publisher and Illustrator (the computer applications)

[zourtney]

Those fun times when a keyboard key (like shift or control) gets stuck down and nothing behaves as you're expecting.